« swag with a mission | Main | Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows »

10 least popular memory verses for Sunday school

Wealthdemotivator

People often view the bible as a book of inspirational sayings that will motivate people to live respectably. May this list contribute toward putting that view to rest! Youth group members: wow your parents by telling them that you've decided you'd like to memorize more from your bible, and then dazzle them with these:

  1. "You will vomit up the little you have eaten, and you will waste your pleasant words" (Proverbs 23:8).
  2. "Happy shall be they who take your little ones / and dash them against the rock!" (Psalm 137:9)
  3. "Lament, mourn, and weep. Let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy into dejection" (James 4:9).
  4. "Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26).
  5. "... with his blood now completely drained from him, he tore out his entrails, took them in both hands, and hurled them at the crowd, calling upon the Lord of life and spirit to give them back to him again. This was the manner of his death." (2 Maccabees 14:46 -- it's from the Apocrypha, but hey, that's useful for teaching, right?)
  6. "Come now, you rich people, weep and wail for the miseries that are coming to you" (James 5:1).
  7. "I wish those who unsettle you would castrate themselves!" (Galatians 5:12)
  8. "They washed the chariot by the pool of Samaria; the dogs licked up his blood, and the prostitutes washed themselves in it, according to the word of the LORD that he had spoken." (1 Kings 22:38)
  9. "If you are overstuffed with food, get up to vomit, and you will have relief" (Ecclesiasticus 31:21 -- another inspirational gem from the Apocrypha)
  10. "A young man named Eutychus, who was sitting in the window, began to sink off into a deep sleep while Paul talked still longer. Overcome by sleep, he fell to the ground three floors below and was picked up dead." (Acts 20:9 -- and let that be a lesson to preachers who go on too long!)

You could even make some inspirational posters by taking a suitable photo, pairing it with one of these verses, and making use of this create-your-own-motivational-poster site. And yes, I live to serve.

July 5, 2007 in Churchiness, Just for Fun | Permalink

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
https://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d8341c234653ef00e0098ddfae8833

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference 10 least popular memory verses for Sunday school:

Comments

lol
OH Dylan - thank you. Just what I needed on an uninspiring sermon blocked morning in a week of non stop funerals...You are a star!x

Posted by: Kathryn | Jul 6, 2007 4:46:18 AM

You forgot the seminarian's favorite verse: "While he was making this defence, Festus exclaimed, ‘You are out of your mind, Paul! Too much learning is driving you insane!" - Acts 26:24

Posted by: Susie | Jul 7, 2007 10:38:29 AM

I've always loved reading Amos 4 out loud when it comes up in the Lectionary.

Hear this word, you cows of Bashan who are on Mount Samaria, who oppress the poor, who crush the needy, who say to their husbands, ‘Bring something to drink!’

The Lord God has sworn by his holiness: The time is surely coming upon you, when they shall take you away with hooks, even the last of you with fish-hooks.

Posted by: MadPriest | Jul 7, 2007 1:08:39 PM

Well, we chant #2 every Wednesday Vespers & Fr. William used #3 as his screen saver during Lent -- #10 is one of my favorites -- St. Eutyches as the patron of congregations during long sermons -- Fr. William once found me a holy card of the incident
:)
The original English translation of the Jerusalem Bible had a most undeniable rendering of I Kings 21:7b -- "Cheer up and you will feel better!"

Then there is the perennial favorite at funerals -- "...comfort one another with words like these. Here endeth the lesson."

Posted by: Prior Aelred | Jul 7, 2007 3:25:11 PM

Here's one that is clearly inspired:

He went from there to Bethel and, as he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, "Get along with you, baldy, get along" He turned round and looked at them and he cursed them in the name of the Lord; and two she-bears came out of a wood and mauled forty=two of them. From there he went on to Mount Carmel.

2 Kings 2: 23-25

-- Lutibelle/Louie, Ole Baldy

Posted by: Louie Crew | Jul 7, 2007 4:07:41 PM

There's always Psalm 50:9a "I will take no bull from your house"

Posted by: James Dugan | Jul 7, 2007 6:06:01 PM

Here's a fave discovered a few years ago (please excuse the length, but it's too *disgustingly* funny to miss!)

"Because of the suffering that your enemy will inflict on you during the siege, you will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the LORD your God has given you. Even the most gentle and sensitive man among you will have no compassion on his own brother or the wife he loves or his surviving children, and he will not give to one of them any of the flesh of his children that he is eating. It will be all he has left because of the suffering your enemy will inflict on you during the siege of all your cities. The most gentle and sensitive woman among you—so sensitive and gentle that she would not venture to touch the ground with the sole of her foot—will begrudge the husband she loves and her own son or daughter the afterbirth from her womb and the children she bears. For she intends to eat them secretly during the siege and in the distress that your enemy will inflict on you in your cities." (Deuteronomy 28:53-57)

Bon apetite! ;-D

Posted by: JCF | Jul 7, 2007 11:59:12 PM

During a time in my life when I was primary caregiver for my mother (cancer), father (Parkinson's/dementia), sister (MS) and two emotionally troubled pre-teen nieces I came upon this in Numbers and took it for my "life verse", at least at that time---11 So Moses said to the Lord, "Why have you treated your servant so badly? Why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of all this people on me? 12 Did I conceive all this people? Did I give birth to them, that you should say to me, "Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a sucking child,'...14 I am not able to carry all this people alone, for they are too heavy for me. 15 If this is the way you are going to treat me, put me to death at once if I have found favor in your sight and do not let me see my misery."

Posted by: Ann | Jul 8, 2007 6:37:31 AM

Is it just me, or does the gargoyle look a lot like Alan Greenspan?

Posted by: ruby | Jul 8, 2007 7:29:24 PM

I once saw a translation of Galatians 5:12 as "Tell those who are bothering you I hope the knife slips."

I wish I could remember where...

Posted by: MaryO | Aug 3, 2007 3:04:06 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.