top 10 rejected alternative worship themes

A lot of people have been asking me, as instigator of the first U2charist (held in Baltimore, Maryland in April of 2004) what other liturgical developments are in the pike. What I can say is that, having carefully pondered cultural and liturgical trends, I've decided that the Next Big Thing is most definitely NOT:

• The Kazoocharist -- in which the service music is led entirely by 30 people playing kazoos.
• The Magoocharist -- which would have been gravely insulting to blind people.
• The "I Melt With You"charist -- which may have been well-received by those from my generation who are lovers of one-hit pop wonders. Sadly, I could find no theological justification for such a service, and even those from my high school graduating class couldn't stand singing it ten times in a single hour.
• The "Chattanooga Choo-Choo"charist -- for lovers of 40's jazz and railway enthusiasts.
• The R2D2charist and Naboocharist -- for lovers of the Star Wars film franchise.
• The ShihTzucharist -- for lovers of expensive and diminutive dogs, in honor of which the altar party would wear their hair tied up with a ribbons on the tops of their heads
• The HoodooGurucharist -- for lovers of obscure alternative Australian rock.
• The Dewcharist -- a service for computer coders in which Mountain Dew would replace the sherry or port normally used; rejected when no one could figure out whether a Twinkie was or could ever be 'bread.'
• The Moocharist -- in which chocolate milk would replace the port or sherry to appeal more to children.
• The Booboocharist -- for fans of the diminutive animated bear of Jellystone Park.

What I CAN say with some authority is that I will be preaching at the U2charist -- held to the glory of God and to inspire deeper engagement with God's mission to end extreme poverty -- in the Diocese of Michigan on Saturday, June 16, at 4:30 p.m. More details forthcoming!